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 The Aoki Clan [Finished]

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PostSubject: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:11 am

Name: Aoki [Ay-oh-kee].
Village: All.
Special Traits: Clan members tend to have lightly coloured hair.

Kekkei Genkai: Naitekeisha [Mental Projection].

The bloodline ability known as the Naitekeisha is one that is based solely on the projection of thought-generated effects. Though there is nothing typically unusual about any part of the biological structure of the Aoki clan members, it is an ability that can only be accessed by those of Aoki lineage. The Naitekeishi is believed to have been bestowed upon the Aoki by the deity they worshipped, back when they were simply a religious cult. Despite the religious aspect having been lost in history, very few practitioners remaining, their abilities persevere. This has given rise to the theory that their abilities were not gifted, because their God would have surely taken them away for the widespread 'heresy' by now.

There a two inherent, passive (constantly active) abilities that are shared between the Aoki clan members. The first is a built-in resistance to Genjutsu effects. This is only minimal however, and skilled illusory masters can overcome this resistance (Genjutsu require 50% more chakra to use on a member of the Aoki). The second and more intrusive inherent ability is a weak telepathy. Clan members will often hear one or two-word thoughts of others at random, and be able to locate the source of these words by instinct. Aoki members can only hear anything from those within fifty feet of their own location. However, they cannot control what thoughts they hear nor focus on a particular person's thoughts without using chakra-controlled jutsu. Many have found this to be a severe hinderance, regularly hearing single words and not being able to discern anything of their meaning. This doesn't drain them of chakra, and can be suppressed with a short meditative technique. Other than this, clan members have developed a number of secret techniques for battle and other uses.

Clan members only have one physical feature that identifies them as belonging to the Aoki clan. This feature is visible all of the time, though it changes under particular circumstances. Clan members have bright turquoise eyes and this is the same with every member. Furthermore, while activating any ability with their bloodline, the user's pupils disappear to leave just a large turquoise iris.

Passive:

Active:

History: The very beginnings of the Aoki clan can be traced back as far as records allow, though the modern form of the clan is about two centuries old. As long as anyone can remember, the nations and the people of the shinobi world have worshipped various gods in a number of different ways. Of the most celebrated, the Okami are of the highest order, being the greatest of the deities. Other than the six Okami, there were – and still are – few gods or goddesses powerful enough to earn praise. Omoikane, the goddess of wisdom and intelligence, was among these few.

Over a period of some centuries, those who worshipped different gods separated into different sects. Some remained wholly focused on worship in the most traditional of senses; prayer, offerings – some even in sacrifice. Others were more open to change and looked toward the future of their sects. Those who worshipped Omoikane chose to move in different directions, practicing new ways of expressing their admiration of their deity.

Until this point, the sect of Omoikane worshippers were confined to their own lands, which later become known as Tsuki no Kuni [Moon Country]. Eventually, a small family of these worshippers – who had gone so far as to take their deity’s name as their own – the Omoikane family left their homeland and travelled around the shinobi world. Their intention was to spread the word of Omoikane to the other nations, but after encountering a group of talented shinobi in the newly developing village of Iwagakure no Sato, they began to look to even more into the link with the goddess that they worshipped.

The shinobi they met claimed to draw power from the collection of gods that they worshipped, and the Omoikane family began to attempt this themselves. Whether by divine providence or simply learning to access their own unique chakra, the family discovered a wealth of abilities that seemed to emulate what their great goddess stood for. Praising their god for the gifts she had bestowed, the family came to realise that they were perhaps unworthy of the name Omoikane, and chose to return to their previous family name – Aoki.

Many centuries later, the family had grown into a clan, their awakened abilities being passed down and refined with each generation. The clan had also – eventually – accomplished their goal of spreading their word throughout the shinobi world, as the clan has branches in most of the countries. Those who did not separate from their traditional ways of worship more or less died out, and it was never discovered whether the bloodline ability of the Aoki family was inherent in them or granted to all who worshipped the goddess Omoikane. However, the abilities they possess are unique to the descendants of that one family, so the former explanation is more generally believed. Indeed, some members have even turned their back on the religious aspect of their clan, choosing to follow the more ‘scientific’ approach to explaining their bloodline.

Clan Symbol:

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:12 am

Secret Clan Jutsu:

Name: Souon no Jutsu [Cacophony Technique]
Rank: -.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. This, the most well known of telepathic techniques, allows the user to read the thoughts of others. This is the passive version of the Mind Reader Technique, with which a clan member can hear the thoughts of nearby people. However, it is limited to three or four words of thought and is passive (constantly active). It has no chakra drain on the user, but is often found to be more of a nuisance than anything - the user hearing a word and not being able to discern meaning from just one word, or finding that it disrupts social situations.

Name: Enkatsu no Jutsu [Harmony Technique]
Rank: E.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. This technique requires a short (five minute) meditation, and allows the user to suppress the Souon no Jutsu [Cacophony Technique] for up to two hours. This gives them respite from the intrusive and annoying ability to hear single word thoughts of others.

Name: Shinenui no Jutsu [Thoughtweave Technique]
Rank: D.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. This technique allows the user to project their thoughts into the mind of another, essentially allowing mental communication. Only a target capable of this technique can reply the same way, however. More particular effects can be added too, such as perfectly imitating another’s voice; changing the pitch and volume at will; making it seem as if the sound is coming from a particular direction; and targeting multiple people at once. In battle, this can be used to distract, confuse or mislead the opponent.

Name: Jitsukoutai [Reality Shift]
Rank: B.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: This technique forces the synpases and axons to misfire in the user's own brain, so that the clan member can ‘shake’ off’ most genjutsu, as they are all ultimately designed to trick the mind. Able to release techniques far beyond its own rank and thus more effective than Kai [Release], this technique is flawed. It is limited to two uses per topic, as overuse can cause damage to even the evolved brains of the Aoki.

Name: Omoi Aidokusha no Jutsu [Mind Reader Technique]
Rank: C-A.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. This, the most well known of telepathic techniques, allows the user to read the thoughts of others. At C rank, up to seven key words can be distinguished from a whole sentence. At B rank, up to eleven words. At A rank; whole sentences can be distinguished. However, to read the useful thoughts and exclude useless ones, the user must concentrate hard. This reduces how often this technique can be used to a maximum of three times per topic. Because this is a passive technique and permanently active, clan members are so accustomed to using it that it costs half the chakra of the rank it is (i.e. A rank costs B rank chakra).

Name: Soujoukei [Future Sight]
Rank: A.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. In this case, they employ the same skill to connect with the future. There are two ways to accomplish this. The first and far more accurate, is to form seals and meditate. The user’s eyes widen and images from the near future [48 hours] appear in a linear sequence before them. They then have five minutes [2-3 posts] to discern what they can from the images. The second means is to scry whilst on the move or most commonly, during battle. In this case, the user will see randomly ordered images from the very near future [1 hour] and can only maintain this state for 2 minutes [1 post]. During this time, the user will gain a weak ‘sixth sense’ to allow them to fight without normal vision for the duration of the technique. Simply put, they can sense incoming attacks, though this is less accurate than normal vision. It is important to note that what is seen is still images, not motion and that the user has to discern what they can from them.

Name: Ishindenshin Deforume no Jutsu [Telepathic Distortion Technique]
Rank: C-S.
Type: Ninjutsu.
Element: None.
Description: Telepathic techniques of the Aoki involve connecting the user's spirit with another's and then exploting this bond to achieve a variety of effects. After forming seals and creating the connection with another, the user can then cause detrimental effects to their psyche. At C rank the user can scramble the target's thoughts and thus halt any mental or physical action temporarily [the effect lasts for one of the target's posts and another of the target's posts is required as 'slow recovery' time]. At B rank this effect becomes more pronounced, the confusion lasting longer and being far harder to overcome. It can also target two people at once [effect lasts for three of the target's posts, and two posts of slow recovery]. At A rank, it can wipe the mind clear of thoughts temporarily, rendering mental and physical action impossible. It can also target up to five people at once [effect lasts for five of the target's posts, and three posts of slow recovery]. At S rank, it can ‘spark out’ the mind, overloading it with psionic energy and causing a seizure, which leads to the target losing consciousness. This will last for up to 12 hours.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:54 pm

Alright, imma post here before checking your actual character. This clan is denied as is. 'Mental energies' aren't necessarily a part the naruto-verse. Infact, any sort of interaction or manipulation of the world around oneself must involve chakra in some way. The closest thing to 'Kenesis' one could accomplish is being able to use techniques without the need for hand signs, and even that would have to be specific to an ability. Don't get me wrong, Psychic powers are awesome, but just not... do-able by 'Naruto's' standards.
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:09 pm

Mental energies is not meant to refer to a different type of 'power' or 'energy' such as chakra. All of these techniques require normal amounts of chakra to use, and most of these would need hand signs. The mental energies is just a term to describe the medium through which the chakra is channelled. It is no different from channelling chakra into a KKG such as a Sharingan to perform Uchiha exclusive Genjutsu, or performing secret techniques of the Yamanaka. I'm not trying to invent psychic powers, these are all Ninjutsu that simply resemble psychic effects. In fact, the Yamanaka have done similar things way before this, and they're canon.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:45 am

It is very different, as the idea of 'mental energies' is tossed around in many different areas. It is difficult to read and understand your idea of 'metal energies' if it is not chakra based, but instead a medium. Especially when used in describing jutsu. You refer to condensing and releasing mental energies... but if 'mental energy' is just a form of medium, then... and where does the medium come from?

My first guess would be the physical film of the mind that apparently evolved to envelope the brain? It can be observed... but isn't physical? Which raises the question of what it is and... bleh.

There are simply too many complexities to try and tie the two concepts together, and too many loose ends as is. If you can simplify it, maybe, but like I said, as-is, it's too far away from the Naruto-verse.( by my standards, some other people may not care)
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:10 am

I see where you are coming from, but there are a few rebuttals I'd like to make.

1. You talk about the biological impossibility of this. Well, let's examine a canon example. The Sharingan - exactly what causes the eyes to evolve like this? You can see the Sharingan in someone's eyes, but if that person died and you had to perform an autopsy, you wouldn't be able to see the Sharingan (as far as we know). Nor would you be able to tell the eye itself apart from any non-Uchiha's (as far as we know). Which makes it similar to mine in development and existence.

2. I'll define what I mean by mental energies. 'Mental energies' - the physical manifestation of the mind, using chakra to make it so. This is not as far fetched as it sounds. The Yamanaka detach their minds from their bodies entirely, then take over someone else's with it. This not only makes no scientific sense, but is not given any explanation - something I have tried hard to do.

3. What two concepts are you referring to? Mental energy and chakra? If that is the case, my mental energy defninition should help.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:19 am

1. I guess what I meant was if this is a 'film' of some sort, would it be able to be physically damaged? The sharigan can be damaged, but if its literally a film around the brain (an abstract idea in itself) is it a completely new organ or something else... see my confusions here?

2. Comparing anything to a canon clan isn't necessarily fair, because the sharigan is an exception to alot of rules as far as what is OP or not, but is included because of its plot potencial. The Yamanaka clan also comes with alot of risk and its abilities as far as the mind aren't completely known either(I'd assume some affinity toward both genjutsu and fuuinjutsu, as they have never shown any members with talent for actual front line combat).

3. The next problem... when/if those are resolved, is that you cover alot in this one clan. Its basically... 5 clans in one. Yes, you get the chance to pick another by saving someones life, but if you cover 5 different section of what could possibly be 4 different clan ideas in the same document... see where the issue is there?
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:30 am

Okay, so instead of going over and over this (as I expect we could do Razz), can you please bullet point what I need to do to have this approved.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:42 pm

To get it approved you would have to change alot... it would most likely look alot different by the time you were done.

1. Change this idea of a 'brain enveloping film'. There has to be a more simple way of making a transition between 'mental thought' and 'chakra action, other then inventing something so abstract.

2. The first leads into the second; find a reasonable way to turn hand signs and thought into Jutsu. Of course, all you technically

3. Pick one of the five abilities and elaberate.

And we will go from there. Also, if your adding any terminology that is otherwise foreign to naruto, then be sure to define it to the best of your ability. What I think its going to come down to is... a process where you use a technique to project your chakra to an object, and then thought to manipulate it from that point. But you would first have to capture it in this way which could be problematic if someone knew how to avoid it.

You would also be doing yourself a favor to try and stay away from the idea of being 'Psychic', because in any situation where your manipulating yourself, or an external target, you need some way of connecting yourself to your target, through either a physical or spiritual medium (though I'm sure you very well understand that)
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:41 am

1. That's do-able. I'll make a biological and corporeal something in their body that does this.

2. That's generally how chakra and jutsu work already, using hand signs, chakra and willpower together to activate a technique. Mine won't be any different nor are they already.

3. Picking one of the five abilities...you mean scrap the idea of having different clan factions?

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:14 pm

Its just really confusing as it is... Thats one of the main problems. Alot of the terms and ideas have little to do with the naruto-verse.

But yes, scrap the idea of having different factions, and just have one broad ability. Like just a mind reading sort of clan, or a clan that uses concussive blasts; not potential for both.... moving objects over range without a medium to do so isn't necessarily possible, so Telekinesis is best left out of it...
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:44 pm

I've given it a major overhaul, and done as asked. Hopefully it makes more sense now.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:55 am

Ishindenshin Deforume no Jutsu [Telepathic Distortion Technique] -- THis is the only 'problem' i see. The description is fine I just would like more straight forward effects and post durations. Otherwise, too many things can be taken for granted and taken advantage of depending on who thinks what is possible with 'confus(ing) the mind, scrambling thoughts and thus halting any mental or physical action temporarily'.
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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:40 pm

Done, I think.

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PostSubject: Re: The Aoki Clan [Finished]   Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:02 pm

Haha, okay.

Good in my opinion. Approvified! (as-is)
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